A Call for Careful and Critical Consumption of Trad Wife Content

(If you must consume at all...)

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It has been a doozy of a last few weeks, hasn’t it? Everything going on with this chaotic administration has my head spinning, and for some reason that feels like too much of a coincidence- I am now being fed *non-satirical* trad wife content in my tiktok feed. That’s right. It started yesterday morning while I was enjoying my morning dissociation session.

Pause for an honest moment-Remind me to delete tiktok from my phone. Truly. I lose more time to that app than I would ever care to admit. It’s just that-well-I’m on there for the jokes! Truly. I am in it for the laughs and not much else. The world feels so often dark. My work (which I treasure) comes with some degree of persistent heaviness. My various identities as a mother, wife, business owner, and friend have me constantly feeling like I am at least marginally failing in every role, instead of succeeding at any kind of dream of “having it all.” And our country has me constantly warding off a gnawing feeling of despair for what things will look like for my kids in the not so distant future. So social media (tiktok specifically) often provides me the hit of comic relief that I need to get through it all. I use it to survive the moment (And I need to delete it before my attention span dwindles even further. I’m holding two truths at once over here, it’s an art.)

Anywho. I was scrolling and searching for the next “raise your ya ya ya” hit of dopamine, and a video popped up of a young, blonde white woman with an infant strapped to her chest making sourdough. A toddler played in the kitchen at her bare feet, and a young, white man kissed her cheek as she sighed with apparent contentment. The writing at the top read “POV: You are a homemaker to the man of your dreams, waking up to take care of your beautiful babies and bake bread in Trump’s America. God is good.” The song playing in the background is Kayne’s “Everything that hath breath, praise the lord.’ (Insert pause for it to register for you that this viral sound is, indeed, from Kanye West’s church service. Gulp.)

Whew. It’s enough to make your head spin. My algorithm did me dirty with how mismatched that video was to my own personal interests. I swiped quickly but two more non-satirical videos of young mothers praising Trump’s America popped up. I was momentarily flummoxed before it registered that our current administration has a heavy stake in the public consumption of trad wife content. Because, of course, one of the goals of this current administration is to roll back women’s rights.

Reflecting on this got me to thinking about how being able to critically consume media like trad wife content IS an action step right now. Because we are likely going to start seeing more of it. Make no mistake- the re-emergence of trad wife content is inherently linked to what is happening politically right now. Tradwives are simply tiktok holding up a mirror to the return of Christian fundamentalism, and the rolling back of Roe V Wade.

Our current administration has been pretty explicitly advocating for a return to traditionalism and conservativism. This inherently means that there is a push for women to return to domesticity and baby making. It makes SO much sense then, that our algorithms (which are controlled by the same people flanking the front row of Trump’s inauguration) are prioritizing this type of content. Blonde, young, white women barefoot in kitchens-with a slew of children at their feet, churning butter and chirping about God being good.

And let’s be very real for a moment- the images can feel dizzyingly alluring. I can get lost in Ballerina Farm’s feed for hours, clicking through picture after picture of her churning yellow butter with her angelic-looking baby strapped to her chest. The vibes are immaculate-warm, fuzzy, and deeply maternal. I’ll eventually come to after finding myself thinking “the egg apron was sort of cute, and maybe she actually wanted it…” This content is meant to be alluring. It is meant to sell you the idea that there is beauty to be had in returning to the past.

But we know- we know that this return to the past means returning to a patriarchal ideal that gives all power over to men. Because the overarching idea is a return to rigid gender roles- women are meant to stay home, tend to the children, and bake bread. Men are meant to lead. And the whispering implications that “the world is such a mess, but things can be simple again, and life can be good if we return to our values,” is such an empty façade.

Because let’s be clear-a return to simpler times, for women, largely means the loss of autonomy, financial freedom, and reproductive agency. Mothers deserve so much more than a giant step back into a time where having baby after baby (while somehow still always comforming to current thin-ideal beauty standards) and serving men was our entire identity and only option. And while I am not loving everything about trying to mother while also laboring in late-stage capitalism, a return to what is essentially just an earlier stage of capitalism with far fewer rights does not feel like the answer we are all searching for. In fact, it feels like a deeply dangerous answer that preys upon our current level of desperation.

When I see this type of content, I am now trying to take a very critical eye to the political landscape that it reflects- because yes- major cultural happenings (such as broad social media movements) are almost always tied to the current or recent sociopolitical circumstances in some way. And I make a concerted effort to pause and remind myself of what is truly being sold to us. Patriarchy and a loss of reproductive rights, wrapped in a pastel milkmaid dress. I would encourage everyone to remind themselves of this doggedly as well (and liberally use that “not interested” button-can’t hurt, right?)